


The Expecteds

by mari681



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Mary Sue, Podfic & Podficced Works
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-20
Updated: 2013-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 18:42:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/890572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mari681/pseuds/mari681
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if, after the war, these "perfect" girls kept on showing up at Hogwarts? And what if, the main/other characters all acted in character, or pretty much so, instead of automatically liking this "perfect" girl?</p>
<p>Not DH-compliant, no horocruxes.</p>
<p>I'm now using this to test out podfics... Kinda sorta. After each section, there'll be a player.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Expecteds

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I felt compelled to write one mary-sueish drabble-ish type fic. Hate it, love it, I don’t care. I may use this scene in another fic that is ruminating in my brain, maybe not. Also posted on FF, but expanded on here, and will perhaps be added onto.  
> Based on this prompt, which I found somewhere on FF, forgot where:  
> What's the Main Idea: I've seen fics Mary-Sue parodies, yet I'm not really thinking that. Could you try writing a fic if a Mary-Sue showed up, and all the characters while being in-character dealt with her? Any length is fine, and you could avoid chat speak or other stuff, no pairings neeed like you asked for.  
> Some Plot Points: someone must end up stuck in a closet, and I'd like for someone to suggest something inappropriate with the Giant Squid.  
> Prompts: diamond, grass, and Hogwarts: A History

~~~

Hermione glared at the new girl as they ate breakfast in the great hall the morning after the sorting. Supposedly this blonde-haired intruder was a seventh year just like them, a transfer from America now that it was safe. However, Hermione had her doubts about the girl.

She switched her glare to Ron as he elbowed her, and quite loudly asked, “ Oi, ‘Mione. Why are you staring at Belinda?”

Hermione hissed at him, but before she said a word, was interrupted by the aforementioned girl bouncing over and plopping down next to her, plate and all. “Hey! You are Hermione, right? I’m so glad to finally meet you! I am just sure we’ll be good buddies!”

Hermione forced a smile on her face. “Why, hello again, Jones. Where were you last night?”

Belinda Jones shook her blonde hair, curls bouncing. “Oh, just somewhere. Did you miss me? How sweet!”

‘No, you imbecile. I could care less.’ thought Hermione. Instead, she replied “Oh, yes. Have you met Lavender yet? She is right there.”

“Oooh! Thank you so much! Ta-ta!”

Hermione sighed as Belinda bounced away to attack Lavender. Turning to Harry, they shared a look. Not another. How many times would this happen? These bloody annoying girls would pop up one day, and leave in a week or so. All landing head over heels on the grass in front of the quidditch pitch, all with their skirts flipped prettily up over there heads, showing scanty panties, all of them. All with pierced ears, with diamond studs, and clear blue eyes.

Harry sighed, head resting in his arms on the table. “‘Mione, please tell me you’ve figured out something.”

She shook her head. “No, sorry Harry. Nothing. If Mcgonagall will not tell us anything, we can not know if they are really exchange students, or a prank. And if they are really exchange students, we can not hurt them... And _Hogwarts: A HIstory_ has no mention of exchange students, ever..”

“Why not?” whined Harry. “They are bloody annoying.”

Hermione glared at him. “Stop whining. I hate them as much as you do.” she shot a glance towards Ron, who was quite obviously drooling in the direction of Jones. “Perhaps even more.”

“The squid is always hungry.” came a dreamy voice, as a blonde sat down in between them.

Harry grinned at the newcomer, while Hermione sighed, and responded with the air of someone who had heard the question before - quite patiently, though with a bite in her voice - “No, Luna. We do not feed other humans to the Giant Squid.”

“Aww, Hermione,” pouted Harry, throwing an arm over Luna. “But surely no one that perfect can be human.”

Hermione just shook her head, in mild amusement, and mild agreement.

 

~~~

As she was luxuriating in her heavenly tub allocated to the head-girls’ room, Hermione growled when she heard a knock on the outer door of her sanctum. No one should be knocking at this hour. Few knew where her quarters where, and none of those few would be willing to disturb her in such a manner. They all KNEW she enjoyed this time for herself. They all KNEW what she would do to those who dared disturb her.

As the knocking continued, she heaved a sigh, and heaved herself up out of the bathtub, wrapping a towel around her body and securing it with a sticking charm after grabbing her wand from beside the sink. Wand in hand, Hermione threw open the door, “What?!”

  
She sighed when she saw who it was, resisting the urge to slam the door shut again. “Well, Jones? What do you need? It had better be good.”

  
The blonde merely smiled, perfectly put together, make-up and all. “Oh, I just wanted to say goodnight, Hermione dear. Ron mentioned you would be free now.”

  
Hermione resisted the other urge that rose up, that to hex the girl silly. Gritting her teeth, Hermione forced a smile. “Well, Goodnight, dear, sweet Belinda Jones.”

  
Belinda threw her arms around Hermione in a hug, before bouncing off to go annoy someone else.

  
Hermione shut the door, locked it, and cast a silencing charm on it, before stalking back into the bath room and slamming and locking that door as well.

~~~

  
Hermione heaved a sigh of relief the next morning as she eased into the great hall, wand palmed and hidden in her sleeve. No sign of Belinda Jones. The Brat must have been magicked away already. Her first assesment was confirmed when Harry waved to her a big smile on his face, and relief clear in every pore of his body, mouthing to her ‘She’s gone!’

  
Hermione slid in to her normal spot, between Harry and Ron, with a happy smile. “Finally! Perhaps we’ll have a few weeks before the next one.”

  
Harry grinned at her. “I sure hope so!”

  
Ron merely frowned. “Why do you hate her so? She was quite pretty.”

 


End file.
